LAKSDJALKJ

FIGURES that I'd be sitting here, in front of the damn computer, blogging about it @ 4:01 in the morning. Ugh. But wtf is there to say. I mean, it's not like I ask for all your time. But I can't even gahdamn talk to you on the phone for over 5 minutes, unless YOU decide that you want to sleep with me. We don't even text continuously throughout the whole day. You go & do what you please, & I'm stuck here hoping that I get to talk to you today.
But honestly? What the FUCK did I do to deserve this from you? Gahdamn. EVERYTHING's ahead of me in your life.

e v e r y f u c k i n g l i t t l e t h i n g.

& I'm just a game to you. You get with me & break up with me whenever you please, WITHOUT ME EVEN FUCKING KNOWING. So much for all the damn promises.

OH RIGHT! You're the one who said 'Promises are made to be broken.'

So yknow what ? I PROMISE that I'll stay in your life. HAH.
Shit.

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Mmkay. So it's 2:11 & I'm back, to vent, AGAIN. Lalala.
Hm. So I think we broke up. You can never tell, 'cuz he's so gahdamn bipolar. He said to me once ' You don't know what you want . ' But hey! Now it's the other way around. HE doesn't know what he wants. I hate how I'm always venting about stupid shit that doesn't get fixed ; I hate how I don't even know if I'm with someone or not; & I hate how everything is right now. Hm.
I remember the day, on November 22nd, when he came down for the first time. We got lost on the way to the movie theater, but then it was fun watching Twilight :] Then we went to my house, 'cuz family went out to eat for this funeral thing. & He stayed for a long time. I was haaappy. But I didn't say yes when he asked me out then. 'Cuz I still had commitment & trust issues.
Then on November 24th, he came down with Annie. & We eventually got to sitting next to the stop sign. He asked me again, but I said I'd answer by the sixth car. Truthfully, I didn't know what to say. I wanted to, but at the same time I didn't. I should've gone with my gut instinct, but I said 'yeah' instead. Ugh.
After this whole journey. It's gotten to the point where. Yeah, I love him. Yeah, we've been through hell & back with this relationship. & Yeah, we've almost given up. We were 99.99999999 of a way there.
But I don't even know about now. 'Cuz the sad thing is ; I don't even know what's going on in my own relationship. ._.

On a brighter note, I get to see Ry in a week<3