Anxious.

Ahh. AP CALC BC test's in 9 days ): Soo stressed. I can't find the time to study for it, & when I do, I don't feel like studying it. Ugh. But at least I'm not taking the AP Bio test, THANK GOD.

Soo. For the past 9 days, Star's been cute. (: She's a lot more hyper now 'cuz she's getting better from her sickness. She's a fanatic for lizards & small animals though. She goes after them, like hella. Yesterday, she even caught a lizard when I moved the tiles for her & a lizard came out. My sister freaked 'cuz she haates lizards. Loool. It was funny.

Met sister's students that she tutors at our house last Wednesday. Gaaahd. Justin's a freaking brat.  Jason seems nicer & more polite. & Eunice, LOL. Forgot her named & called her Esther. Haha. She looks like a freaking Esther!

Last Friday, me & Christina helped best friend Ryan ask his girlfriend to Prom. FAIL! Hahaha. But at least she said yes. It was kinda cute though(:

Saturdaaay; actually started studying for the Calc. test while watching NCIS on USA. Haha :) Better than nothing.

Sunday; Went to Costco w/ Madre. There were a lot of mexicans around.. reminded me of Mike): & I hella started missing him.

& I just want to say.

Yeah, I don't talk a lot about Mike. 'Cuz we don't fight a lot, we don't run into problems, & he's basically an overall good boyfriend. I used to only talk about my exes, *ahem, a lot 'cuz they would cause problems for me / fights . & I don't think it's right to continuously talk about all the sweet / funny things he says 'cuz it's like rubbing it in that I have a good boyfriend. & I don't like that. But 'cuz I think like that ^ , Wu doesn't even remember half the time that Mike's my boyfriend. LOL She always confuses him w/ the guy we met at the movies. LOOOL. But yeeah;

 Mike's the best(: He always knows what to say & the sweetest things to say, even if they're corny at times. Haha. He's super sweet & I love the way he treats me. I love the way he doesn't try to change me ; & he tries to change himself. I love the way he accepts me for me, despite the billion flaws I have. I love how we can always relate in certain topics & how we can talk for hours having fun. I love how he's the last person I talk to at night, & the first text I wake up to in the morning. I love how he never gets mad that I fall asleep on him; & I love the way he stays up late w/ me at times, even though there's a time difference. I love how he's always patient w/ me whenever he uses his uhm ghetto lingo, & I don't understand; so he explains it to me. I love how if I act stupid / immature & make wack jokes, he goes along with it & entertains me. I love how he does things for me even though he doesn't always agree / see the point with it.

Just simply, I love hiim. <3

We have two dates now. He asked me out yesterday(: Soo, our dates aree ;

0222'09 & 0426'09 . ♥

A Good Day (:

Me & my sister brought home our new dog today (: After she got all her shots & got spayed. She's sooo adorable. My sister named her Star, eh. We were thinking about Calypso / Nova, but I guess not.

American Eskimo / Chow mix.
She's pretty big, well long. & She's sooo sweet. I loove her. <3



Me & Christina are on the upper right corner-ish. She's wearing the shorts, & I'm wearing the pink pants. Haha. & My best friend Ryan's in front of me in the black hoodie & black pants during the Cookie Jar song.

Agony

What makes a person happy? Is it getting what they've always dreamed for?
I think I have all I've dreamed for. A loving family, great best friends, a good boyfriend, & a generally okay life.
But if a person has what they've always wanted, won't they find things they wish they could have over & over again?
I think I'm asking for more & more. Not particularly from 1 person or 1 group. Just generally more things that I'm selfish enough to trick myself into thinking that it'll make me happier than I am now.
What's happiness?
Happiness: state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy
^ How does someone even get to that?

My ' happiness ' is a facade full of lies, false illusions, broken hopes, faded dreams, misleading information..

I don't even think this blog makes sense. Gah. Basically. I'm slowly starting to get depressed again, more & more. I hate it. I've been through this shit so many times & it's so hard to get out of. Like around people, I'm fine. 'Cuz there's distractions to get my mind off of thinking. But if I'm in a classroom not paying attention, or at my house by myself; I start thinking.. 'bout life in general. All the faults, missing pieces, yearnings. Basically to sum it up. FML.

All better :)

Thanks Crystal for checking up on me.

Sooo, last nighhht. Me & the Boyfriend had a lil' problem that escalated from nothing, my fault): . But errthing got fixed 'cuz he's wooonderful :D Then we had a bet about who could stay up 'till 4. Haha. I was dyyying. We kept texting 'till like 3:10 - is.h. Then we both fell asleep :)
& Today, he texted me earlier than usual, made my day. We talked throughout the whole day. I leared new things about him; he called the picture I gave him creative & sweet. Hahaha. 'Cuz it was this gif thingg.
Anyways. We're better now.
022209 <3

I guess it's done with.

Over & done. All over stupid shit. But what's the point if he doesn't see shit that I do, & I don't see shit that he does see. For once I thought a guy was actually different.
Guess not.

------------------------------------------------------
Off to watch my drama, then sleep.

Appreciate

what & who you have regardless of the faults, the problems, or the frustration.
I don't know how to let out what I'm feeling. I don't know. Maybe I'm just over-thinking things & trying to push myself away from everything. Or maybe I'm just making excuses for something that can' t be. It's funny how you do something big for someone; then you go on to find out that person had something else. Ugh. Complicated story, don't ask. Today's just a generally blah day.

Don't categorize your friends. A friend's a damn friend. Some just have better qualities than others, but it doesn't mean they're the best. Everyone of them is the best in their own way. Don't think so? Then don't call them a friend, more like an acquaintance. -K.B.
Jacked that from my kuya. I think it's wise.